


At the End of Everything

by angstytimelord



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Forever Alone, M/M, Will gets angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 22:21:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/854642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstytimelord/pseuds/angstytimelord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will wants to believe that Hannibal is waiting for him at the end of this journey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At the End of Everything

Will squinted into the sunlight, raising a hand to cover his eyes. They were dazzled by the blue of the sky, the sea, and the sand all around him, but not so dazzled that he couldn't see the end of the path he was following quite clearly.

Hannibal was waiting for him at the end of that path.

That little cabana might look empty, but he was sure that his lover was there. He would only have to walk down that path, across the sands, and discover Hannibal waiting for him. He had no doubt that he would be welcomed with open arms.

Since he'd been with Hannibal, he had learned the hard way that nothing was as it seemed. This place might look as though it was at the end of everything, but he couldn't look at it like that. Maybe that was what everyone else saw, but not him.

He saw a new beginning, a place where he and Hannibal could meet in secret, with no one else around. A place where no one would know what they were to each other.

Or more accurately, what Hannibal was to him. He really had no idea exactly what he was to the enigmatic older man; there was always a wall there between the two of them that he couldn't manage to break through, no matter how hard and how repeatedly he tried.

Hannibal always kept him at arm's length. Always.

And he hated that. He wanted to get inside Hannibal's head, wanted to know just who his lover was. He hated the fact that Hannibal would never let him in; he got tantalizing glimpses of what went on in the other man's mind, but he never got the full picture.

It was past time that things changed. If he was going to stay in this relationship, he had to know exactly what he was getting into. He couldn't keep on stumbling in the darkness, not knowing just who Hannibal was and what he wanted from their relationship.

He had to ask some hard questions, and maybe he wouldn't like the answers. But if he didn't ask, then he would never know. And he _had_ to know.

Will knew that he wanted to be with Hannibal. It was all he'd wanted since the first time Hannibal had touched him, since the first time they had kissed. He might have been unsure at first, but every time they shared any kind of intimacy, he moved closer to making up his mind.

Now, he was sure. There were no doubts. He wanted to be with Hannibal.

If he could make it to that far-off cabana, then they could talk. He didn't actually _see_ Hannibal there, but he was sure that once he got there, Hannibal would be by his side. He had to believe that, or there was no reason to make the journey.

That was what his whole life was like, wasn't it? he asked himself as he trudged down the path. He always seemed to be on some kind of journey, looking for something that he wasn't sure he would find. Always moving forward, but never reaching his destination.

Well, this time he _would_ reach it. He'd made up his mind about what he wanted, and he was going to be proactive and reach out for it, instead of holding back. 

No one who wanted something as badly as he did could be doomed to failure. He wanted Hannibal, wanted a future with him. He should have realized that from the beginning of their relationship, instead of letting so many doubts cloud his mind.

Those doubts had all been swept away now. He knew who and what he wanted; he'd finally made up his mind, and there was no turning back. He had to see this through to the end, had to make a stand and not turn away. This could be the most important thing he'd ever done for himself.

For once in his life, he wasn't going to turn away or back down.

He'd done that far too often in the past, and he was determined not to do it again. This wasn't just about what he wanted in the present; this was about the rest of his life, his future happiness. If he didn't follow through, then he'd regret it for the rest of his life.

There were so many thing sin his life that he'd backed away from, either because he hadn't thought that they would work out and hadn't wanted to put forth the effort to make them work, or because he was afraid of them. This time, he would conquer that fear.

This time, he would follow through to the end. He had no choice. All of the paths that he could have taken had converged into this one, that led to where he wanted to be.

At the end of everything, there was Hannibal. 

Why was it taking so long to get there? Will took a deep breath, shading his eyes again. Somehow, it felt as though he was no nearer to the cabana than he'd been when he first started walking. But he had to get there; he had to talk to Hannibal, to secure his future.

He kept walking, putting one foot in front of the other. It might take him a while, but he _would_ get there. He and Hannibal would talk, and he would find out if he was destined for the happiness he so longed for, or if he would be turned away from the gates of paradise.

The sea and sky seemed to merge; he could hardly tell one from the other now. And the cabana was getting closer; he had it in his sights now, even though it still looked empty. But his eyes were still dazzled by the sun; it was probably only a trick of the light.

Hannibal was there. Will could _feel_ his presence, as though his lover was a lodestar leading him on, guiding him to where he needed to be.

He would get there, and Hannibal would be waiting for him. He had to believe that.

One step, then another. The cabana loomed closer, the shade of it inviting. He would bask in that shade, and in the presence of his lover; he would be able to rest there, and together, they would discuss how their future would take shape. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he stumbled into the cabana. He glanced around for Hannibal -- but he was doomed to disappointment. He was alone; the place was completely empty except for the sea and sky. There was no one else here.

He had followed a mirage. At the end of everything, he was alone here. Hannibal was nowhere to be seen; he had never been here, that was obvious.

Will wanted to sink to his knees and sob. He couldn't reach out for Hannibal; he would be grasping at thin air, looking for something that didn't exist at this point in time. Once again, the world had played a cruel trick on him, shattering any hopes he might have had.

Was it his destiny to always be alone? That was what it felt like; it seemed that he'd always had to make it through this world on his own.

There was no one to help him, no one who he could turn to, not even his lover. The world stretched out all around him, as far as the eye could see, disappearing into the distance.

At the end of everything, he was still alone. Just as he had always been.


End file.
